chasing the sun

I have one tattoo. I got it when I was 20 years old and I thought long and hard about what I wanted to be permanently 'inked' on my body, where I wanted it and why I wanted it.

And then it came to me one sunny day.

I grew up without a father. My mom and dad separated when I was 7 years old and even before then, I don't remember him being a big part of my life.

It wasn't always easy being the oldest of four kids with a single mom working full-time to keep us all housed, clothed, fed and happy.

But I always had the Sun.

Even during my darkest times, when life would overwhelm me, when the teasing at school would get to be too much, when it felt like no one was on my side or I had no one to confide in or tell my deepest secrets too...

I had the Sun.

I could go for a walk on a sunny day, find a patch of grass and just sit there. I would close my eyes, sit directly facing the sun and let the warmth and the rays wash over me like a beautiful embrace. In those moments I felt loved. I felt warm. I felt like I was the only person the sun was shining for. In the midst of whatever chaos was consuming my life or my mind...

I had the Sun.

Throughout the years, the sun has been my constant. Like Superman, it is often the source of my strength. Nothing makes me feel more alive than waking up to the sun on my face and days without it are extra dreary for me. Winter months are hard, but I will take minus 25 degree temperatures as long as the sun is shining. I have travelled across oceans and back and have seen it rise and set over land and sea and always...

I had the Sun.

And for the last twenty years, every day, rain or shine or sleet or snow. Sorrow or pain or joy or happiness.

I have had the Sun with me and ON me.

And I always will.