Been there, done that, got chlamydia!

Is what I wanted to run around telling a whole heck of a lot of young women last night! I was at a club you see, and's what happened.

I have been a regular little social butterfly this week (In Real Life, no less, not just on Twitter)! Last night was my second night out and it was for my girlfriend's stagette.  She wanted to go dancing, so we started our night at another friend's house and then headed to a local "retro" dance club for more partying and to get our groove on!

My usual drink of choice these days is a lovely glass or two of a nice Malbec. Wine was definitely not an option at this particular establishment, so I opted for the next best thing, gin and tonic. Throw in a few rounds of fruity shots for all of us and I for one, was well on my way to tipsy-ville in no time.

As I sat there drinking my second gin and tonic, I started looking around at the female clientele at our chosen destination and that is when I really started feeling, A) my age and B) my mother-yness (is that a word??).

What really hit me as I watched these young women in their uniform du jour, the high-waisted, very short, short skirt and 4 inch heels, was that 20 years ago, had my life been a little bit different (or my birth control luck been a bit worse), any one of these girls could have been my daughter. And as I witnessed them getting more and more drunk, and throwing themselves all over the guys at the club, all I kept wanting to do was run up to each and every one of them and say, "STOP. You are worth so much more than this!" and also, "Seriously chickie, that skirt?? You are leaving NOTHING to the imagination."  I was struck with this overwhelming urge to want to either slap them all up side the head and tell them to smarten-up and also to take them aside and share some of my hard-learned life lessons.

And then I remembered 19 year-old me, and realized that in no way would I have ever listened to an almost 40 year-old woman, no matter how hip and cool and smokin' hot she looked ;), tell me how to live my life! Oh well, girls, at least you live in an era of the Plan B pill and really good antibiotics!

So instead of going around preaching self-love and self-respect to all, I consumed even more gin and tonic and fruity shots of liquor.

And then I started noticing the men at this club. Or more appropriately.....the complete lack there-of.

They too has their uniforms. Invariably it was jeans and a t-shirt and either some version of the Beiber, a faux-hawk or a lop-sided toque on their heads. And they too seem to have some issues with respect. Not necessarily the self kind, more like the kind a REAL man should have for a woman.

A few lovely examples for you...

  • I saw a complete poser in a cowboy hat walk right up to a cocktail waitress and grab her skirt and yank it up over her ass!
  • Our group of 6 got kicked out of our seats for three 20-something guys who had a 'reservation' and had what I now know is called Table Service. A minimum of $500.00 and your own personal serving wench. Too much money and not enough brains if you ask me!
  • And to top off the night, as I was giving the bride-to-be a hug goodnight and was about to get into my cab, two guys jumped into it from the other side! And left me, a lone woman to go find another one. WTF??? Is there NO chivalry or even common decency at all in this Generation Z?

Thus ended my night out clubbing. I realize that I am making some big generalizations about these kids and yes, I was somewhat intoxicated myself, but let me tell you, as I stumbled into my house at 2:00 AM and I peeked into everyone's rooms and saw my little family's beautiful sleeping faces, I was never so thankful for my life....






And then they had the nerve to wake me up at 6:00 AM! Argh!!

Slightly hung over,


P.S. I'm probably joking about the whole Chlamydia thing.