With great {word} power comes great responsibilities!

Here is the thing about blogging. It is kind of like journaling. In the sense that I can get my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen and once they are there, then I often feel purged or elated or better about a situation, or a thought or a topic or even myself.

But unlike journaling a blog is public. Once you hit that publish button, it is OUT THERE. For all who want to to read, comment, criticize and judge. So there exists some editing that must be done, in blogging and in life.

And right now I am having a major dilemma about both. I need to get something off my chest. It had been kept inside for over a month and is starting to fester and all I want to do is blog about it! I usually don't operate like this. If something (or someone) pisses me off, upsets me, or otherwise confuses me I usually just express my feelings, get it out of me, deal with it and then move on. In my mind, this is a healthy way of dealing with problems and conflict of any kind. I fully admit that it doesn't always guarantee a happy outcome for everyone, but at least it is honest.

If you haven't figured it out already, I am a passionate person. I have strong opinions and I am not afraid to voice them. I have been accused at times of having no filter and I can not deny this. I prefer to wear my heart on my sleeve, skip the mind games and basically function on a 'what you see {and hear} is what you get' kind of principle.

For the most part this works for me. I make no excuses for who I am, because as you know, I AM the conductor of my own Awesome Train!

But every now and then something happens, either professionally or personally and I am forced to hold back and keep things bottled up. I am forced to focus more on the greater good for all involved, versus my own need to express myself, my opinions or my need to be right.

I blame it all on my birth order. I am the oldest of four and grew up with a working single mother. I was put in charge a lot as a kid and so yeah, I am bossy and overbearing and opinionated and often think that I know best. And what I have learned {again} this past month, is that this attitude does not always work to my advantage.

So what is a big bossy-boo to do about all this?

LEARN and GROW.

Learn more about myself, and about how I respond to situations and people. I need to be more aware of my words, my actions and my oh, so bad poker face of expressions! Words are powerful. And heck, I should really know this. I type a whole lot of them on a weekly basis hoping that they will be powerful enough to affect people.

I am NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. {Warning: DO NOT forward this to my husband-I will hunt you down!!} I do not always say the right thing or express myself appropriately in situations. And I know that this can alienate some people and make them feel uncomfortable. My growth is in learning to listen better, to really hear what is being said to me (and what is not being said at the same time) and THEN to react and discuss. I am often a react first and think later kind of gal and this is the scenario that often gets me into trouble.

I also need to learn to let things go. Let go of situations and circumstances that are beyond my control or my power to comprehend. Constantly focusing on them and going round and round and round with them in my head is just going to drive me bat-shit crazy and suck away all my energy. And in my life, with a husband and children who need me more now than ever, and a business to run and a new house to build, I need to preserve and focus all of my energy into positive and productive channels.

So here is to listening, learning and letting go......

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...{deeeeeeep breath} ....man that felt good to finally write down.

Good night all,

Natasha~

 

I think I may be up for the revolution!!

So, as some of you know, I am kind of contemplating the whole homeschooling angle with the kids.  To be perfectly honest, the school system these days scares me.  Most of my immediate family have been teachers and support staff within the school systems for more years than I can count and I have seen and heard a LOT over these years, some good, some bad, some downright frightening!

I also have a growing community of friends and colleagues that are homeschooling and I am starting to see that there are many, many benefits to this way of learning.  Now, all you teachers out there, just hold on and keep reading (and watching).  And please don't hit me with the whole socialization argument either, because there are plenty of ways to socialize your kids that have nothing to do with being crammed in a room with 30 other 6 year olds and one stressed out adult.

I did not enjoy school.  Well, that is not true.  I loved it until Grade 3.  And then we moved from our tiny town (and tiny schoolhouse) to the big city.  AND my mom decided that I should be enrolled in a french immersion program, even though we had not spoken a word of french at home up until then.

Grade 3. Me-fourth from the left.

So picture me, a sensitive kid whose parents had just split up, entering Grade 3 half way through the year and not being able to speak the language that most subjects are being taught in.  I cried almost every day and because of that and my newness and God knows what else, I was easy pickin' for the bullies, cool kids and in-crowd (and yes, these do exist, even in Grade 3).  That kind of stigma unfortunately does not leave you and I never quite felt like I fit in in Elementary or Junior High.  (And then there was that whole inappropriate touching and kissing incident with my Grade 6 teacher-who claims he was just consoling me after another boy punched me in the gut.  BTW-no one knows about that!!)

Now before you think this is just another post about someones bullying experience, let me assure you it is not.  I just wanted you to know that school was not fun for me.  I did have two amazing teachers who inspired me throughout high school and perhaps it is because they saw my passion and potential (thank you Mrs. Lees and M. Lizaire), but otherwise, it was not really that great of an experience for me.

And so now I am in a position in the next year and half to make a decision for my child and his formal entry into the education system.  But what kind of system am I sending him into?  Did you know that the Edmonton school boards have two rules:  NO fail (ever) and NO late (as long as you hand in your assignments by June you are good and don't worry, cause it's not like you can FAIL or anything!!).  What kind of life skills (um, hello?? responsibility, personal accountability-just to name a few) are being taught to our kids people??  Really??

Today I stumbled upon two TED Talks by Sir Ken Robinson.  PLEASE watch both of them (if you have not seen them already-they get posted and shared A LOT). Yes, it will be 40 minutes of your day, but trust me it will be worth it!  They are amazingly compelling and full of insight that I lack the eloquence to communicate when people ask me why I hesitate about putting my kids into our current education system.

This is the first TED talk that he gave in 2006. "Do schools kill creativity?"
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY]

 

And the follow-up in May of 2010. " Bring on the learning revolution."
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LelXa3U_I&feature=relmfu]

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and for those of you with kids in the school system already - is it what it should be?  Or should we as parents be asking, lobbying, and/or creating something better for our kids!

Thank you for reading and watching. Natasha~