Prince Charmings need not apply

Last night I was up until 1:00 AM having a very interesting conversation with a few people on a friend's Facebook wall. Kevin posted this status update to his page and his blog and then let the chips fall (and as you can see, they did indeed fall... 115 times).

The conversation got off to a quick start when another commenter posted that he disagreed, did not love 'bitches' and then said this,

And I think a lot of modern female culture is just an excuse for bad behaviour and out of control narcissism.....

I couldn't resist, at that point I HAD to say something.

I asked him for clarification on what he thought "modern female culture" was and after some initial back and forth and outright and admitted ignoring of my question, he finally answered.

Natasha - modern female culture: a couple of weeks ago I met with a public relations strategist. Years of data and research led him to conclude that the only demographic that makes sense these days is women 30-55. They make 47% of all family decisions alone, 33% of family decisions in collaboration with their partner but they are dominant in the discussion, and men make 20% of the decisions (most of which revolve around golf and cars). The conclusion? Men have become functionally irrelevant in modern society. Women rule. Male presidents and prime ministers and CEOs only mask much deeper and profound changes of the past two decades. Your gender is now dominant.

He went on to state a bunch of other anecdotal evidence of the above as well. That most of his male friends admit that their wives and girlfriends are the dominant ones in their relationships and that they are unhappy about this and that in general, men don't like to date women who are dominant.

While in this day and age the concept of one party being dominant in any relationship, especially a marriage/life partnership, smacks of some severe dysfunctionality to me, I was really trying to understand this person's point of view. Why, you ask? Because lately, I have witnessed some of this very behaviour in a few relationships around me and I am trying to figure out why this is happening.

Have men truly become 'functionally irrelevant' in our society?

A woman does not NEED a man these days. A woman can support herself financially, can train in any profession or trade she chooses, and can even have children without a man. Women make 85% of consumer purchasing decisions and 75% of women identify themselves as the primary purchaser for their households.

Women continue to seek equality in terms of jobs and salaries paid (we are still a ways off from this as the most recent statistics from Stats Canada reveal that women are still only making 83.3% of what a man makes). We want our relationships to be true partnerships, with each person having their strengths (and weaknesses) complimented  by those of the other person.

We have come a long way from the fairy tales of princesses needing knights in shining armour to save and protect us from all things. And although that "princess culture" still exists, we fight it, some of us more fervently than others. We tell our daughters that they can be anything they want to be, that there is more to life than being a pretty princess waiting for her prince charming to come along.

But where does this leave all those Prince Charmings? All those boys who are now men, who heard the same stories and grew up believing that it is their job to take care of the princesses, move them into their own castles and live happily ever after? Is there a whole generation of men who really don't know how to have functional relationships with women who have brains as well as beauty? Women who refuse to BE the princesses, who don't tow the old lines of "honor and obey thy husband" or society's historical expectations of what a proper woman is or does (IE, shut up, smile and look pretty)?

From what I read and contributed last night on my friend's Facebook thread and from what I have witnessed recently in my own world, I think that for some men, this may indeed be the case. They need to be the dominant ones in their relationships, the one pulling the strings, making all the major decisions and the one being the knight who has the pretty, helpless (and quiet) princess on his arm at the ball.

I don't think they make up a lot of our society and I do think that this may be limited to men of a certain generation (40+). I highly doubt we will see this in the next few generations of boys and men who are being brought up by strong women who no longer buy into all of this princess/prince charming culture, but are strong, intelligent and independent Queens who are running their own kingdoms, with or without a King of equally valuable strength, intelligence, love and compassion at their sides!

What do you think? Are the middle-aged Prince Charmings of the world struggling with their role in modern society? 



This is Post #29 of the Summer Blog Challenge that ENDS TODAY!

Please visit these other sites and congratulate all of the challenge participants for getting through this month

and giving you all some great reading!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now