Curves and Edges

There I was. Going about my day, taking one kid to camp and the other to his therapy appointments and I stopped for a minute to check my email. And there it was, right in the subject line:

"You're beautiful underneath it all."


The email is from Lolë, a Canadian lifestyle company that I quite like and whose products I buy regularly (and therefore why I get their emails). It is an ad for their new "delicate, feminine underpinnings" line of products and I assume they are trying to say that what you wear under your clothes can be beautiful too. The problem is, that is NOT really what they are saying.

They are saying that *YOU* are beautiful underneath *IT* all. And maybe I am overly sensitive to this kind of thinking/speaking/messaging, but then again, maybe I am not.

"There is a skinny person in there just trying to get out."

"You've got lots of muscle tone, it's just covered up with that extra layer."

"Once you lose X amount of weight, you'll look and feel so much better."

These are all things that have been said to me in my lifetime.

Women are bombarded every day with these kinds of messages and with clothing options to cover our flaws, that use "slimming" technologies and push up or pull in various parts of our bodies to fit the styles and trends of the times and the ever present single layer version of beauty. We have to worry about muffin top, back fat, waving underarms, and the dreaded thigh gap. We are told over and over to love ourselves, no matter what size, shape, or colour we are, and then companies fill magazines and commercials and store shelves full of products and messages that are meant to help us change all of those things.

Love your skin, but here, make sure you remove all that hair, cover up/lighten those spots, and please! do something to smooth over all that cellulite.

Love your face, but don't let it get all wrinkly and *gasp* OLD!

Love your hair, but maybe it should be shinier, fuller, longer, and have more volume.

Love your body and go on and wear that bathing suit, but make sure it pushes up the girls, slims out your belly and here's a great video with 77 ways to use a sarong cover up, because really, no one wants to actually see that.

But don't worry, because you are beautiful underneath it all.

And we buy it. I buy it. I wear clothes strategically to cover my "flaws". I have a drawer FULL of anti-aging products to reduce fine lines, not so fine ones and everything in-between. And I have a love/hate... mostly hate relationship with my bathroom scale and what I think it tells me about me and my body.

I love this line from John Legend's song, All of Me.

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections

I realize that this is a love song about and sung to someone else, but sometimes when I am alone in my car and it comes on the radio, I'll turn up the volume really loud and sing it TO MYSELF. To remind myself that I have curves and edges and a lot of perfect imperfections. And that I love ALL of me. That all of me, JUST AS I AM, is worthy of love and happiness and that I am beautiful.


Not underneath anything.

Not despite anything.

Not when I am tucked in, slimmed down, covered up and/or made up.

And the same goes for you too.

You are beautiful. FULL STOP.





A challenge and change and channelling my anxiety.

Ask me to drink 3 litres of water a day and I'll make it to maybe day four. Ask me to wake up one hour earlier than usual to meditate/workout/write and realistically I'll do it a few times and then be back to hitting the snooze button until small people insist that I wake up to feed them.


Challenge me {for the third year in a row} to write a blog post a day for a month for the 2014 Summer Blog Challenge, and BAM! I am in. Again.

To be honest, I need a kick in the pants to get my writing mojo back. It has been lost for a while now as we were dealing with other life altering events this summer.

Daily blogging definitely is a challenge. And with school starting in a couple of weeks and the regular and some new {our first year with an IPP} challenges that this will bring to my life, will likely make it even more so.

So why do I do this then?

That is a very good question.

Because it is tradition now. Because I like to prove to myself that I can do it. And because every now and then, amongst the silly, last minute, "oh crap, I need to get a post out today" drivel that yes, I fully admit, you will get, sometimes a shot of brilliance will shine through. I'll have an epiphany and some divine power will guide my hand and I'll bang out something fan-freaking-tastic.



Today I spent most of the day cleaning the house and clearing it of the debris of life that has been collecting in unaddressed piles since June. The bags of all of my son's school work that his teacher lovingly packed up for us, the mail that has been sitting on my desk unopened along with all the unfiled bills and papers, the toys and books that have accumulated in all the tiny spaces that they can find to play together just like before. We tackled it all today ,and while it may not have seemed like it for everyone around here (read: there was much whining about when we would be doooooonnnnne), for me, it was a mixture of purging and nesting and wiping the slate clean to ready ourselves for the next chapter in our lives.

I am the most prepared that I have ever been for back to school this year. A couple of new outfits each and all the school supplies have been bought sorted and are ready to go. Every year, the beginning of the school year is like walking into a bit of an unknown (we don't get to find out who the kid's teachers are until that first day), but this year it feels even more so. Most people know that C was very sick and in the hospital, but few know the full extend of his illness or about his stroke/brain injury. He has expressed his concern to his therapists and to me about going back to school and having people ask him all about what happened and what he will say to them and he now has a list of answers that they came up with together and wrote down. I think I may have to follow suit as I am realizing that I too am feeling quite anxious about this as well. And when I get anxious about events or situations that are outside of my realm of control, I re-organize. I control my immediate environment and make it orderly and pretty.

Seriously people, my closet and my office have never looked better.



 All ready to welcome back both me and my mojo!



So.... Here we go!

Subscribe to my RSS feed, sign up to get my posts delivered directly in your email every day (see box over there on your right), or find me on Facebook or Instagram (and maybe Twitter too, although my presence there has been sporadic lately - more on that in another post) because you never know which one of these posts is going to be the brilliant one!



P.S. There are quite a few bloggers from all walks of life participating in the #SummerBlogChallenge. On social media we usually hashtag it as such or #SBC2014 or just #SBC. I'll have the full list of participants for you tomorrow if you'd like to check out some of their writing as well.




It's just a little spilled pickle juice

Silly title I know, but it is what it is and since I don't want to go to bed both mad and without writing something tonight... Here is a short list of things I am grateful for today.

1. My little girl and her two favourite friends having a tea party and two almost 6-year olds who needed the door closed so that they could play big boy imagination games.

2. Spinilates. It does a body good.

3. The lovely eye-candy that is the sweaty, shirtless men, working hard to give me a back yard. I know, so sexist of me, but WHATEVS...

4. Two-step oatmeal muffins that the kids can essentially make themselves and the ensuing house that smells like fresh baking.

5. Day Three of Natural Zen Mama. No yelling, no screaming, actively listening and stopping the busy-ness to just play.

6. Being photographed and photo-bombed by our children!

I need to get to bed before midnight. My mind and my body both need rest.

Goodnight all,



This is Day 21 of the Summer Blog Challenge!

10 Days left!

Go see what everyone else has been up to today.

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now