My addiction

This was an assignment I wrote for a writing workshop I took last year.

I reread it tonight and it made me laugh...

because nothing has changed!

I hope you like it! 

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I can feel the pull.

It really is only about 22 steps from where I am right now.

And it will be warm.

And soft.

And I can just drift away from all of this.

 

This.

This never-ending LIST of things that I need to do.

The list I have been avoiding for so long.

The piles and baskets of bright coloured clothing that are scattered along my hall are looking more and more like permanent fixtures and they keep growing in height and depth.

I don’t know where all of these papers keep coming from. It is like a tree gets cut down once a day in here and all of it’s byproducts end up on my desk and scattered across the kitchen counters. I swear I just filed it all and emptied the pretty blue box yesterday.

 

If I could just close my eyes for a little bit, I can do it all later.

Everyone else in this house is sleeping right now. Why can’t I?

 

BECAUSE!

 

That is what you did yesterday and the list that was supposed to be finished then is now added to the list that is for today.

YOU JUST CAN’T.

PIck up this, put away that, wipe this, wash that, fold this, call so and so, book this appointment, get nephew a birthday present, plan this party, get a new windshield, schedule our next date night, etc...

 

Sleep is a powerful drug.

There are no problems when one is sleeping. The lists do not exist when I am curled up in my bed. I don’t have to deal with anything when I am sleeping. The kids will sleep with me and we are all happy and there is no yelling, no threatening to take away this or that toy, just peace and snuggles and...

 

Void.

 

But I can’t. If I go there now, then there will be three days of to-do lists TO ACTUALLY DO,

and I will soon be buried in those bright piles of clothes and papers.

 

It’s a game actually. One that my mind likes to play with me.

"How far can we push her? Let's make her eyes go buggy, droop those eyelids a bit more, convince her that it can all be done later.

Come on Natasha, only 15 minutes, then you will feel all refreshed and can get back to work."

 

But it never works like that. Once sleep catches me, she doesn’t let me go. She makes my limbs heavy, my head heaviest of all and won’t let me wake up after a mere 15 minutes. That does not appease her.

 

So I have to say no. I have to fight her off. If I keep moving, she won’t catch me. If I sit down, if I stop, she knows she has won.

 

This may sound silly, but no matter how much I want to be 22 steps from where I am right now, snuggled in my bed with the 4.5-year-old miniature version of myself, I can’t go there.

 

I have to GET THINGS DONE.

 

My name is Natasha Chiam.

I am addicted to sleep.

It has been 3 days since my last nap.

sleep

 

....................

Post #2 for today and the #summerblogchallenge.

Don't you feel lucky?

 

 

I am the Tony Stark of parenting!

I am a goddamn parenting genius! .

.

.

.

OK, fine. Slight exaggeration.

Maybe I just exude parental confidence. {While inwardly I am pulling my hair out strand by strand and sitting in a corner holding myself and rocking back and forth.}

Whatever the case may be, people ask me for advice all the time.

It ranges from prenatal questions all the way to potty training and back again. And for the record, I am definitely not an expert in any of these things by any conventional definition.

What I am is a mama. I have almost 6 years of seniority in this position and according to a recent personality test I took (more on that in a later post) I have an above average amount of behavioural adaptability. Which I think is just fancy talk for I just know how to go with the flow!

I also like to listen to my instincts. My gut, so to speak. And for the most part, (teensy bit of bragging here) my gut is rarely wrong.

Why am I telling you all this?

It started last week when my lovely friend and kicks-my-ass-weekly personal trainer, Jessica, asked me for some sleep advice for one of her 5 month old twins. One was sleeping in his crib just fine and the other one just could not do it without Jessica being there with him.

Now of course, my first reaction when anyone asks me for baby sleep advice is to laugh out loud, because, as you may know, I have not had a full night of uninterrupted sleep since December of 2006.

My second reaction is to ask more questions. How does he usually sleep? What does he need? What (or who) is his comfort?  Jess answered all of these and the main theme that I uncovered was that he needed HER. The problem is that she needed her sleep.

So, in my infinite parental wisdom, I said, "Give him your shirt."

Huh?

Here is the way I understand it. Babies imprint on us. Yes, imprint, just like in Twilight with Jacob and baby Renesmee. It's an instant and forever bond and a big part of that has to do with our senses. Touch, taste, hearing, smell and sight. So when Jessica told me that Baby R needed her and she needed to be sleeping in her own bed, I said give him your shirt.

Because it smells like her. The first scent that he ever smelled, his soothing imprint, his mama.

So she did. She gave him her "I just taught two fitness classes, this smells A LOT like me" top and a few hours later I got this tweet.

https://twitter.com/infinitefit/status/256248507684491264

And yesterday, she texted me this sweet (sweaty shirt) photo!

It has been a week and he is still sleeping at nights all snuggled up with his mama's shirt.

Therefore, I believe this makes it official.

I AM a genius!

Patent-pending of course, but in the meantime feel free to use my very scientific GTFTS "technique" (which by the way, I have also used with some success with toddlers too)!

Happy Sleepy Times Mamas,

Natasha~

 

 

Telling it Like it is!

(Disclaimer: Sorry Mommy, I know you are reading "my blog thingy" these days, and I love you for that, but there is some swearing in this one!!  Love you. N~)

On Tuesday night right before I went to bed, I posted the audio version of "Go the Fuck to Sleep" on my Facebook page. It is read by the ever so awesome Mr. Samuel L. Jackson. Now some might think, really? You mean big angry black man, Samuel L. Jackson? "Le Royal with Cheese", Samuel L. Jackson? "Snakes on a Mother Fuckin' Plane" Samuel L. Jackson?  And yes, yes, and yes, that very same one. And really he was perfect for this part. Go on over HERE and have a listen and you'll see what I mean.

Last night after I got home from an awesome networking event (@JenBanksYEG teaching a room of entrepreneurs all about the coolness of SEO!!), I hopped back on Twitter and Facebook for one last check before I went to bed and I saw that the lovely Laura from Greek Momma, had commented on my GTFTS link and so I headed over to read her latest blog post.

I loved her post and agreed with about 90% of it. But that last 10% kept me up last night and I had a very restless sleep, combined with a kid that kept waking up. Coincidence? I think not!!

If you will recall, I blogged about the sleep situation in our house a few months ago. C is still doing really well and is sleeping through the night, but L is just not there yet. And I accept THAT! My husband and I have made a conscious decision about nighttime parenting and "sleep training" and we, under no circumstances, will consider any form of 'Crying it Out' as an option for our family. And because I also believe that falling asleep in the arms of one you love and who loves you the most is an amazing thing, it is how I have always put my kids to sleep.

BUT, here is where the 10% comes into play. Do I like that I am usually up at least 4-5 times a night to put my child back to bed? NO. Do I think she really needs another sip of water, or trip to the bathroom, or 'just one minute' of nursing? NO. Do I think it is fair that she ONLY wants Mama at night and gets physically upset if Natural Urban Dad even stirs and tries to put her back to bed? NO.

Do I get frustrated some nights about the whole situation? YES!!  Are there times when in my weak moments, I just want to tell her to "Go the Fuck to Sleep"? YES!!  Do I think this is good parenting? Um, obviously NO.

So here is what I think about this book and why I really do like it.  I think that the author, Adam Mansbach, has taken what all parents may be thinking in the big, bad, deep, dark recesses of our minds at one time or another and has put in down on paper and published it for all to read. This may not sit well with some people who do not like to go to that deep, dark place and prefer to keep things all happy and rosy and that is just fine. I personally would prefer to be in touch with these feelings, and know that they are, wait for it......

...COMPLETELY NORMAL.

YUP, that is right folks, feeling frustrated about a situation, and even mad sometimes is a completely normal feeling to have as a parent. If you think that you are not allowed to feel anything negative towards your kids EVER, I am really sorry to have to tell you this, but you are not living in reality!!  Parenting is THE TOUGHEST JOB on earth, and we are all going to have our bad days or moments doing it. And like Laura said in her post, there are ways to deal with these times, take a break, get help, go for a walk, give yourself a time-out. Please DO NOT take out your frustrations on your kids, because that is definitely not the answer.

Maybe you steal away in your room for 15 minutes, take out your copy of "Go the Fuck to Sleep", read it (out loud, if that helps) and have a good laugh at the absurdity of it all. Then, take a deep breath and head back out into the fray!!

I for one am hoping that Adam also writes the follow-up books, "Eat your Fucking Food!" and "Put on your Fucking Shoes Already!!

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen.  When they're finished, I climb out. 

~Erma Bombeck

Natasha~