A couple of weeks ago I took a selfie of myself in a new bikini I bought while on holidays. Not gonna lie, I looked good. I felt good, I loved my new suit and I wanted to take a picture and remember that feeling. So yeah, I took that picture and then I went one step further and I posted it on Instagram. That's right, I posted a nearly naked picture of myself on the internet. 

I admit that for a second, I hesitated before doing so. I worried about what people would think. Amidst the pics of my kids building sand castles on the beach and our nice family vacay, there I was in almost all my glory. 

Going to go rock my new @marahoffman poolside today!

A photo posted by Natasha Chiam (@stayathomefeminist) on

There is a part of me that sometimes worries about my chances of ever running for any kind of political office and what would be dredged up from the thousands (yes, that many) of pictures I have posted online. And then I remember ALL I have learned from shows like Scandal, and House of Cards, and Madame Secretary, and then I realize, I am never going to run for office, I will be someone's Chief of Staff or campaign manager. Because, DUH... we all know THAT is where the real power is... Amirite?

But I digress...

Back to (nearly) naked pictures on Instagram. 

Kim Kardashian posted this one the other day.

When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

And in true KimK style, it apparently "broke the internet". Now, listen, I am not a fan of Kim's or any of the Kardashian family. I have never seen an episode of their show(s) and I don't follow them on any social media sites, and yes, I feel a perverse sense of pride in these facts. But the response to this particular photo pissed me off. 

In particular all the responses basically saying "YOU ARE A WIFE AND A MOTHER NOW!! HAVE YOU NO SHAME??!!" 

See more  HERE

See more HERE

It seems a lot of people (and dishearteningly, most of them women) are under the impression that there is some kind of memo that gets delivered right alongside the baby that says... 

"As of this minute, you are a MOTHER.
You are no longer a sexual being, and you and your body are not to be seen as anything more than the life-giving, food-bearing, self-sacrificing person whose sole concern is now the care of your progeny. 
Your mom-jeans and sensible shoes will be delivered in 6-8 weeks time.
Please cover up appropriately until then."


Becoming a mother, does not take anything away from a woman. Least of all her ability or her prerogative to adorn her body in whatever way she wants - and yes, that includes two black bars across her chest and pubic area. If anything, I believe that becoming a mother makes a women acutely aware of the magic and wonder that is her body and this is something to be celebrated!

And you know what, we all have these moments. After a shower, or a good workout, or just waking up in the morning, when we walk by and catch ourselves in a mirror and are all, "DAYUM WOMAN, YOU LOOK FIIIIIIIINNNE!!" Most of us are probably not going to take a selfie right then and there, or post it to our 63 million followers on Instagram. But you know what, if you do decide to do that? GOOD FOR YOU! I SALUTE YOU. I CELEBRATE  YOU! I FUCKING THINK YOU ARE AMAZING! AND YOU CAN BE DAMN SURE I WILL COMMENT AND LIKE THE CRAP OUTTA THAT PICTURE!

Do not EVER feel shame about your body because you are a wife and a mother. Do not ever think that BECAUSE YOU ARE A MOTHER, you can't be sexy, or proud of yourself AND YOUR BODY, or like Kim posted today (yes, with another nude shot), feel #LIBERATED.  

You can go ahead and hate on Kim Kardashian all you like for any number of reasons, but I will tell you this; when you go after ANY woman and try to shame her into being some kind of subservient and patriarchal version of the "good wife and mother", I WILL CUT YOU (with my sharp, sharp words)!!!

Yes, even you Bette Midler