let it go

I feel like a 10 year old girl signing the song from the movie Frozen over and over in my head.

"Let it go, Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore..."

It's true, I am pushing myself this year. I am going to find my stories.  I am going to let them go, I am going to let them OUT. I am going to let them flow onto the page/screen/notebook/sketchpad in any way they want. I am letting go of the {self-imposed} rules that say I can only write about certain things or from one perspective and that I am not a true artist. 

 "I don't care,

what their going to say..."

I have taken steps to unleash this power within myself and no, I am not building ice castles on the top of mountains. But then again, maybe I am? Maybe my castle is a manifesto, a poem, a novel, a children's book,  a watercolour painting... something just waiting to be released from the storm inside my head.

"It's time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break thru,

No right, no wrong, no rules for me.

I'm Free."

I don't feel any fear right now. I know a lot of people who are taking these steps with me are afraid. Afraid that their writing is crap, that they won't be able to live a wholehearted life, that they are not {insert whatever it is you think you are not enough of here} enough.

Maybe it's because Idina Menzel has been singing in my ears for the last 15 minutes straight, maybe I am just done with being scared and feeling little, and maybe its just time to really just let it all go.

Let go of other's expectations of me, let go of what I think others expect of me...

I know it is time to let go of my fears,

of constant comparison to others,

of feelings of jealousy,

of trying to be something or someone I am not,

of feeling inadequate in my own head and heart and body.

I am enough. Heck, I am MORE than enough. I am ME and I have things to say, words to write, a whole-hearted life to live.

You can come with me on this journey if you would like. You may not like parts of this journey and you may LOVE other parts too. I suspect I'll feel the same way. I am also packing light for this one. All baggage is either being left behind or being put down on the page.

I am not looking to write the perfect book or poem or essay or to paint the perfect watercolour painting. I am looking to unleash the creative me that is pounding away inside of me, screaming to be let OUT! The one that keeps being pushed back by that voice {you know the one} that tells me I am no good at this.

It really is time to slam the door on that voice and listen to another one. Tonight, Idina/Elsa is working for me. This is gonna be one AMAZING mountain top ice castle!

"Let it go, let it go, that perfect girl is gone.

Here I stand, in the light of day,

Let the storm rage on.

The cold never bothered me anyway."