A Cherokee Legend
An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."
I read this tonight and it really made me stop and think.
Which wolf am I feeding?
I woke up this morning, dead tired from a wonderful weekend at Folk Fest and ready to get back to real life. We had swimming lessons to get to, the neglected laundry to wash/dry/fold/put away and I had some calls to make on the never ending house and landscaping to do list.
As I usually do in the morning while the kids are eating breakfast, I checked in on my social media sites. And I saw something on my Facebook feed that immediately pissed me off. It's been something that has been bugging me for a few weeks and I really shouldn't care about it, but I do. I am human, I have an ego and we were both feeling hurt. It is a "little thing" and it was starting to "set me into a fit of temper".
I REALLY wanted to be passive aggressive and post something scathing about this thing that is bugging me on Twitter or Facebook. I wanted to say that some of the people involved don't deserve to be there and that I am just as worthy. (And, no, I am not going to tell you what it is. This is all you are going to get from me about it.) I did not post these thoughts that I was having anywhere and the reason for that was becauseI realized that the real issue here is...
That I was jealous.
Jealous that I was not asked to be part of something and others were.
And these feelings, this jealousy, this negativity, this anger that I am feeling is FEEDING THE WRONG WOLF!
So, instead of going on a public feeding frenzy, I shut it down. I logged out of my social media sites, the kids and I had lunch, and then we all snuggled together in my bed and had a much needed two and a half hour nap.
I don't know about you, but I am seeing WAY too much of these kinds of wolf feeding patterns EVERYWHERE on the Internet lately and the Big Bad Wolf population is getting a bit out of hand.
Don't like how someone is raising their kid--feed the bad wolf!
Don't like the mama breastfeeding her child at the restaurant - FEED the bad wolf!
Don't like pictures of babies on the Internet - feed the bad wolf! (Or just download a ridiculous App for that.)
Don't like the way a company or a group is running their business - feed the bad wolf!
Don't like a certain group of anyone in particular for whatever ridiculous reason - feed the bad wolf!
This list could go on and on and on. It seems that as human beings, we have no shortage of things that piss us off. Things that make us angry and hateful and overly critical and judgmental and yes, jealous too. The Internet and social media, for all the amazing things that they can do in terms of connecting us all, they are also havens for these big bad wolves just waiting for feeding time!
Today I made a decision. I looked inside of myself at the two wolves fighting for dominion over my spirit.
And I chose the Good Wolf.
I chose to feed her, to let go of the hurt that I know was never intended to hurt and to find harmony with those around me. I chose to find harmony with myself as well. When feeding the good wolf today, I really thought about why I do the things that I do, particularly blogging. I realized that although recognition and accolades and sponsorships and all the rest of it is nice, it is not what keeps me here.
This chronicle of my life and my thoughts and my journey, it is what it is and it is for ME. I write to become a better writer. I write to share thoughts that otherwise clog up my brain and keep me awake at night. I write to share my experiences in the hopes that others will be inspired, will laugh, will cry and will perhaps take some grain of knowledge or wisdom or silliness away with them into their own lives.
I write to feed the Good Wolf.
And that is enough for me.
This is Day 13 of the 31 Days of Summer Blog Challenge.
Not quite half-way, but it is practically all downhill from here. Right?
Please keep reading and encouraging the other participants as well.
Zita at The Dulock Diaries.
Meaghan at MagzD Life
April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say
Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World
Jessica at 2plus2X2
and Liam at In the Now