the strong one

I have always been the strong one.

The one who rides in and takes charge.

The one who keeps her head in a crisis.

The one who numbs herself and focuses on making sure everyone else is taken care of.

The one who knows all the big words used by the doctors and nurses.

The one who can read the monitors and know what all the numbers mean.

The one who asks the questions that no one else thinks about.

The one who will go to all the appointments and translate what it all means.

The one who will gently help them transition from one way of life to another.

I am the child, who became a mother.

Who is now the grown child standing beside a bed,

stroking her hair, kissing her forehead and taking care of her.

My mother.

And I don't know

if I am

strong enough

for this

just

yet.