....is how I felt this weekend.
Oh, I know, I am a terrible wife, mother, person, blah, blah, blah!
But it has just been one of those weeks.
You know how it is. Everything keeps piling up and up and up. The laundry, the paperwork, the housework, the phone calls and appointments you don't have time to make, the meetings you have to postpone, the house you are trying to build.
Everything in my life felt like it just hit the pooper this week! And I was done. DONE, done!
First of all I get the whole intervention chat LAST weekend. Then we hit some MAJOR snafus and delays with the building of our new house (more on that in a later post). My two-year old fell down the stairs a week and a half ago and just started walking again this past Thursday (I love babywearing people and didn't mind carrying her around, but the whole drama queen thing going along with it was getting on my last nerves). Professionally I feel like I have hit a crossroads and I need to make some decisions, but I don't feel that I have the time to devote to doing that, which leaves me feeling very frustrated and at a stand-still.
And then to top it all off, on Saturday, on our way to IKEA, Natural Urban Dad does his usual passenger seat driver schtick, which mostly involves telling me how to drive, where to drive, when a fucking light turns green and grabbing the god-damn dashboard every time I apply the brakes and I tell you, I just HAD IT!
We of course proceeded to have
the most dumb-ass fight a discussion in the car and parking lot and I instigated the 'DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME WHILE I AM DRIVING' rule! And then we continued on with our day and into the evening and night, my family completely oblivious to my frustrations and need for solitude. (Granted I never said anything and they can't read my mind, but still!)
Today, I was very excited. I got to go to work! Which meant a whole FOUR hours away from the lot of them. It was great! I was at the Urban Infant Magazine Red Carpet Launch Party and I was in my element, teaching and showing families how to babywear and use baby carriers, and this always puts me in a good place.
And it was just what I needed. Just enough time for me to have that was about me, and also just enough time for me to miss them just a little bit. Plus there where cupcakes, amazing, little tasty cupcakes from Whimsical Cake Studio!
The laundry still needs doing (hello, I was not here for most of the day), I still have a to-do list that is as long as my hairy lower leg (yes, yes, an appointment for some waxing is on that list!), the house issues are not completely resolved and I still have some big decisions to make about my career.
But whatever, tomorrow is another day and I will attack all of the above with renewed gusto!
Because today, I got a little break from my family and my life and you know what? THAT is not a bad thing to want or to get.
Sincerely and slightly more sane now than I was yesterday,